College!?…

What does a person do that has hi aspirations but really struggles with things like Focus, Retention while reading, assimilating information in an academic manner.  Do you have to have a college degree to be great?  What if you desire a college degree, but don’t know how to ever achieve one.

I have desired all my life to finish a BA degree, and then to somehow get a masters in christian counseling.  I don’t know if I have a learning disorder or just the lack of motivation to commit to something.  I have all the desire in the world, but desire in and of itself doesn’t get you far.  I feel inadequat, and not smart enough to finish the courses required.  I enjoy the learning, I just feel that I am at a 2nd grade level when I go to do the homework.

I ask people about what there dreams and goals are for the future?..  I find that there are a lot of people out there that really don’t have much for dreams or goals.  I have always had an unending list of dreams, but how do you get to the place of completing those dreams.

So when you are studding and you find that you spend hours and nothing gets on the paper, you mind goes everywhere but where it needs to, to get the work done. What is the solution?  Is it worth the aggravation of time and energy to do this?  I believe that God wants us to continually learn and grow, sometimes it is just harder than others.

Turtles, Rats, Chicks & Tomato Plants

I have Tip, (my pet rat) sitting on my shoulder right now.  I spent the day keeping 14 baby chicks from the peril’s of being separated from their two moms.  I brought home a foot long turtle last night from the pet store because it was stuck in a cage it couldn’t turn around in.  and I hung my Tomato plants in the woodshed to ripen.  I am stressing about getting my homework done for a college class, and I am heading off to men’s retreat this weekend.  Two children, my adorable wife.  what on earth is the purpose of it all.  Children need to learn and grow in the natural, knowing how to explain the essence of life it’s self.  The classroom is now, the location is my yard.  the teacher is Dad, and Mom.  The Tyranny of the urgent.  What is eternal?  what is important?  You think you know, but do you?  What is the fruit of your labor’s?  Stop and look around at the life that is budding around you.  there is so much that you will miss if you don’t stop, get down on the yard and let the rain fall on you and soak you to the bone, and experience the amazing world that God created.  Most of us miss it all.

Real Issues OCD

What does a man really think who has the diagnosis of Mentally Handicapped?  Well… when a girl talks about pms, you could say that generally each day is filled with the roller coaster of emotions.  As I realized today that even-though I use a Mac computer, it still can have the effect that when you open ever application that is on the computer sooner or later it tends to wig out and function spastically.  The last two day’s for me have been like that.  I have recently had several good weeks.  Not great or awful, but stable, and consistent.  I found out at church this week that I will be taking over the sound and having that part of the ministry there which is exciting to me, but I also have been quite busy with Preschool and the board I’m on wanting to do a good job, and my daughter just started 1st grade amongst a ton of things going on in our personal lives, church lives, work, etc.  this couldn’t be a more exciting time in my life seeing what all God is doing.  But in the course of time, I have too many apps open, I haven’t been able to close them and while in Costco, I froze in meltdown status.  I had to take the time to refocus my life on Jesus, and not allow my brain to go down the worthless, pointless, overwhelm, category.  It’s easy to think of all ending, life coming to a literal halt, but not allowing that and to focus my realization on the Christ child, the God who holds me tight and calls me Son.  I almost failed today and gave up, but I pressed on.  what most think is that this is something that is always hard but not debilitating.  Well yesterday I did sleep and my wife took over.  I’s hard to accept the pain and not feel shameful that I am not the man of this family.  But I am. and not allowing anything but the truth.  Just as with a physical disability, Mental is no different, it is just one that’s on the inside and can manifest on the outside, but most people don’t see that, it is made up or get over it.  These things are not ok.  We need love and acceptance and understanding and the encouragement to move forward.  To take the little successes and move from apathy to wholeness and wellness that only can happen through knowing who you are in Christ.