I find myself back in a familiar predicament.  Tomorrow, Monday, I will be home with my Diana and Zebedee.  once again I will have the job title “Dad”.  For those men out there that have never had this opportunity to stay at home and not be gainfully employed, frankly have no concept of what this is like.  It is the greatest gift and joy as well as the largest challenge of knowing who you are and having self esteem.  I must say that I have an incredibly hard time getting up to go to work when my job is my children.  To get up to go to a job outside the home is easy.  I don’t understand this and frankly it makes me disappointed in myself that this is the case.  God has given me an incredible job of my children and I need to take this as seriously if not all the more so.  Depression is so easy to fall back into.  I am taking a stand of proactivity.  it is a blessing to know several people who are stay at home mom’s.  and to be able to ask them questions and for support is priceless.  I am so thankful to my wife for her support and love.  Here comes a new chapter in a chapter in history.  I’ve been pondering thoughts of Heaven lately.  It is too incredible to think of what is ahead, to just take these fleeting moments on earth and make the best of them, Eternity is going to be incredible.

Eternity is not measured by wealth, but by relationship.


Four Steps, Treatment of OCD

Four Steps of Connitive Behavioral Self-Treatment of OCD

Relabel:     recognize that the intrusive obsessive thoughts and urges are the result of OCD

Reattribute:     Realize that the intensity and intrusiveness of the thought or urge is caused by OCD; it is probably related to a biochemical imbalance in the brain.

Refocus:     Work around the OCD thoughts by focusing your attention on something else, at least for a few minutes: Do another behavior.

Revalue:     Do not take the OCD thought at face value.  It is not significant in itself.


Life of Faith and hearing the Lord

everyone hears from God in different way’s.  God is creative to the core.  How is it that there are billions of people and not one the same?  Not to negate time in prayer and devotion and meditation on the Word.  But I believe that we put it into a box sometimes that is too snug.  I had a time last week when weeding my berries out in the garden.  I felt and hear God as we were in conversation.  it is sometimes in the quitet of watering the flowers, sitting in the boat on a lake breathing in nature, or digging our hands in the dirt that I feel real connection to God.  It is by the way the same dirt that we grow plants in, water that we drink and air that we breath that Moses did back many years ago.  so what better place to be loving our creator.  I challenge evolution at the core to say that we can evolve, when nothing under the sun has changed, it is the same, and sometimes we need to get out of our houses and technology and experience first hand what He has created.  Let Him speak to you.  Listen.  I love to be filthy dirty in my garden and it’s almost as I am sitting in the dirt that His hand reaches down to me and say’s, “this is what it is all about”  it is relationship, love and simplicity of heart.  Being a child.

I felt God saying to me that I need to through relationship and openess talk with those that have challenged my foundation.  Learning to be right and wrong at the same time.  We don’t alway’s agree, but we can work things out and grow through our differences.

I am embarking on a new journey, my job is comming to a close and it is through faith that God will lead my and my family that I trust.  I admit that it is scary and nerve racking that I don’t know my future, but then, who does?  We have lived for so many years in this place on dis-elusioned trust in ourselves and the system that we live.  Our financial security is never there, wether we think so or not, but our security that we are taken care of by Christ is a truth that we can stand on.

Thankyou God for my wife, my children, my family and friends, I am truly blessed.

What it is to live trusting God

I am in the midst of life altering decisions. Leaving a temporary job at Bates Technical College where my trust in the state system has been completely broken, and realizing that our great country is really a mess. I am realizing more and more of what it is to trust in God. This is a really blanket statement that gets tossed arround too much. It’s easy to trust God when we have a home, and an income or a speciality in life such as being successful in a given carreer. but strip that all away and leave one on the street and see what that trust really means. Joy in the journey, complete utter ablility to rest in the midst of the tornado, is a learned trait. it is learned through relationship. one doesn’t trust God through faith alone. Relationship is a growing thing where trust is given and nurtured. it take time to really trust someone and God is also a someone, He is a person and you can know Him. Give it all over to Him and let Him lead your life and the dreams you have will come to pass.